Talk:IELTS - Academic Writing - Task 1 - Practice 4/@comment-115.76.65.135-20150208090021/@comment-25263758-20150213080937
The table illustrates the percentage of consumer expenditures on different items in 5 European countries in 2002, showing us the consumption habits of the local [TN1] people on these items[TN2] . In general, consumers in Turkey spend more on the given items than the other four countries. In contrast, Sweden generally spent the least on the given items, although they still spent a larger amount of money on leisure and education that most other countries. All of the other countries averaged comparable percentages of consumer expenditure on the given items, with Italy tending towards the higher end of consuming the given items like Turkey. The overall outstanding point is that Turkey has the highest ranking for spending money on food, drinks, tobacco, leisure and education[TN3] . As the table show, Turkish spent 36,49 percents of their expense on these items and 6,63 percents on clothing, footwear. [TN4] Thanks to the table,Turkish is one of the "generous" countries in Euro[TN5] .[TN6] Another point to note is that almost all European countries give their great [TN7] money to buy food, drinks, and tobacco. It is remarkable [TN8] in the case of Ireland. People in this country spend 28,91 percentspercent of their income on these items and 8,64 percentspercent on the other items. Not only European countries but also the countries in another areasanother area spend much a lot of money on daily expenses. In the case of Spain, Spanish people doesn't don’t spend their money on these items[TN9] . As the data from the table shows, there is only 27,29 percentage of consumer spendingis spent by consumers on these items. It That is as approximately a half of the percentage of Turkey's percentage. The overall picture is that European countries spend much expense on items in their life. Food, drinks and tobacco are the important items for people lives.[TN10] ---- [TN1]No assumptions. It isn’t clearly stated in the prompt that the numbers only include the local population. [TN2]A statement like this seems to be better than the previous statement. Your opening should be a quick summary of the information that is different from what was already given. [TN3]You should try to draw out info about the whole table rather than point out what is already obvious. [TN4]There’s no need to do any math here. Just interpret the information as it’s already given. [TN5]This whole sentence is a no-no. Using “Thanks to the table” implies that the table did something for your argument other than provide information. Also, you should never ever use quotations marks around a word unless it’s being quoted from given information given by the text. Doing that is extremely un-academic. [TN6]Generally speaking, this paragraph is quite flawed. The language is confusing and there is little useful information. Also, it seemed like you were trying to make a comparison, but you only talked about one country when you should have talked about at least two. [TN7]Improper word usage [TN8] [TN8]Improper word usage [TN9]Needs to be specific [TN10]This is not the kind of conclusion you were supposed to draw. You should be looking to only interpret the information given to you and not make assumptions about what it can tell you about people in general.